JT7 - FROM SORDID TO SCENERY

So here we are - jimbotours has made it to the grand old age of 7. As is customary the tour began the evening before with a meat based BBQ at 50hgs and a couple of beers to talk about tours of old and look forward to what we have in store this time. Another jt first was ticked off as we flew out if city airport which was a right touch as a ten min taxi from home saw us at the Airport in plants of time to make the 38min flight to Amsterdam which was our first stop on JT7! When we landed Shaun took the lead as be was a top boy in this city and led us on a 45 min tour if the city looking for the hostel which we would later find out is a 5min walk from the station! After a couple of beers and a cone of chips topped with a tub of sauce we were ready to hit the town. Our hostel was above an Irish bar located in the red light district (stevie's choice!!) after doing a bit if window shopping (!) And steve meeting a bloke he was in school with i dragged the lads back to the hostel where I had a surprise for them - bang on time our first mystery quest of the holiday arrived - Arnie from JT3 to show us round the city. Arnie brought us a nice tour of the town a m icy needed bit of grub which is the first time stevie's stopped moaning about walking for 10mins! After a couple of beers we left Arnie with a promise we would meet again soon and we hit the canals for a bit of culture - there was a nice theatre that jimbo was about to put to use his extensive stage knowledge with a bit of acting to the delight of the audience - plus as he was hungry a nice lady gave him a bit of her banana! It was a typical messy start to the tour so everyone headed home for a much needed rest and to see what tomorrow would bring. East

Today was a tough day. We awoke in familiar JT surroundings... Hungover, in a bunk bed, amidst noisy spaniards in ridiculous heat. This is not why today was a tough day. We got our gear together, grabbed brekkie in the hostel, said farewell to the Irish bar/hostel and made our way out into a gloomy weathered Dam. This is not why today was a tough day. Jumped onto an Ice train which was Germany bound (at this point I still don't know where our next destination is) and got comfortable. Jimbo announces we will be on the train for 2 hours where we will arrive at our next stop. This is not why today was a tough day. Just short of 2 hours into our journey Jimbo announces "We're here.... Dusseldorf". Elated at the opportunity to see yet another part of Germany we disembark the train and make our way through the station. Shauny G only just having been made aware of our latest stop notices that strangely the train station is labelled Duisburg... Thinking this is weird but given that he is simply a passenger on this crazy fun filled journey being led by our knowledgable leader decides it probably just a quirky German thing. This is the start of why today was a tough day. As we headed out of the station we were slightly bemused and confused at how quiet and dull Dusseldorf seemed to be and the further we wandered the more we thought that we must be in the wrong end of town. Being the hardened travellers we are we persevered. 90 minutes into stroll Jimbo addresses the obvious elephant in the room and states the quote of the tour thus far " We are in fucking Dusseldorf aren't we?!" A quick check reveals that no we are not. We are in fact in Duisburg (the clue was in the train station name!) this also proved another fact - Germans aren't quirky. At this point the heavens opened and we made out way back to the dreaded train station. This is why today was a tough day. Eventually we made it to Dusseldorf after a not so comfortable journey on a now packed train and a very wet walk to the hostel with many learns taken from today's experience. If the infamous platform 3 incident in Ancona a few years back - if it feels wrong then check ringing true once again! All this aside... This is what Jimbo Tours is all about. You take the occasion downs with the plentiful ups and press on to pastures new. As Jimbo himself would say... If you want everything to be planned and all the boxes ticked then go to Thomas Cook and book a package holiday! 2 days... 2 countries... 2 cities... 1 God awful town (where I believe German people go to die) and messy night ahead. We've only just got started! I for one will not be heading to Thomas Cook anytime soon!!!! Bring on Ze Germans!!! Shauny G.

Myself and Johnny finally hit the ground in the farther land, to give the other lads a bit of a surprise. In true JT style a gamble on a train and 20 minute walk in monsoon like conditions deliver us to our home for the night. On arrival weee Stevie is half naked and Shauny is in a long meeting. Stevie seems surprised at my arrival even though he's standing there reading my FB status telling him I'm coming. The shock of seeing me must of knocked him off kilter as he didn't even realise there was another man in the room in the shape of O'Donnell junior, Shauny joins the group after finalising his big deal. Now it can begin ...... Our first night in DD and we stroll with purpose to the longest bar in Europe to meet some locals, the first bar we go to is brewing its own dark nectar and if you keep drinking they keep filling. If we thought the beer was good we were in for a real treat when we casually enquired about food, an hour later we sit down to a meal of PIG, with some sides of PIG cooked with PIG and pickled in every conceivable way and then a couple of extra bits of PIG on the side just in case you forgot you were eating PIG, crackling crunched we were ready for a big drink in lots of small glasses. Our travels took us down the road to a JT style pub called, Hausenberg, a friendly crowd keen to share their life stories and their small beers. JD has done it again impeccable planning means we are here to help them celebrate their 30th birthday, how does the man do it. Special €1 a birthday beer means we get ourselves comfy and start spreading the word of JT. First up a guy who has more ex girlfriends than Stevie B has Jets merchandise, which team do you support again Stevie? The rest of the evening consisted of a couple of good guys from London who we hope now have set up their own tour, an introduction to the Geneva shot, a cheese grater lampshade, a beard off with the man behind the bar and my good self coming out of retirement to do a bit of bar work. A 4 O'Clock finish sets the bar for the next city, where will it be, no-one knows ...........apart from Jimbo. Ross Popejoy Account Director the late night salon ltd

The Olympic James We awoke in Dusseldorf greeted by the sound of Stevie B's snoring. After a quick wander to the river front we made our way to the train station to head to our latest destination our third (Duisburg doesn't count!) in as many days. Jimbo had a treat in store for the team and a first class ticket was waiting for us at the station. Stevie B being a man of the people declined the luxury and opted for the mayhem in the cheap seats. As the journey progressed and we saw more of the landscape from our comfy seats it became clear that wherever Jimbo had planned for us it was certainly going to be picturesque. A decent 3 hour journey saw us land in Heidelberg. A town famous for its beer and its bridge... Both of which feature prominently later. Due to last minute arrangements we found ourselves heading to a posh packing kip location. Deep down we were all pleased with the outcome! Check in. Crash out. Get showered. Adorn our 2013 Olympic Shirts (courtesy of RP). Get to the bar...! Head out to see the sights of Heidelberg... In short.... - Have a pint in the student union - Another meat feast - A barrel of beer - Blankety Blanka - Shauny G's Sure Thing - Jimbo hauls Stevie B across THE bridge and wins at 6/1 - Drink a bottle of home brew to celebrate Jimbo winning his Jager Cup run over 17 furlongs And head out to the student zone We arrive in what can only be described as the worlds busiest bar. The Germans in their infinite wisdom decided to fill the room mainly with bar giving punters a tiny space to throw shapes in. The locals were not sure whether we were a stag do or a athletes thanks to our garms. In fairness I could understand their confusion... Jimbo makes a poor rower, Shauny G an average weight lifter, RP a shocking pole vaulter, Jonny a terrible wrestler. In fairness Stevie B was the only one who looked the part as a Shot Put (note no "er"). As the night progressed Shauny G had managed to charm the locals into believing we were part of the Olympic Legacy Team responsible for embedding the beliefs of London 2012 across Europe. Despite multiple games of finger spoof, Stevie B assaults our incident bystanders the locals bought it big time (must've been the Seb Coe name drop!) and we made our way out of the bar as hero's and back to our hotel. Shauny G boycotted the kebab walk... A first! The we got our heads down. The next day brought new sights and a new posh packing location... Heidelberg is the German Cotswolds. Incredible views and picturesque surroundings. A trip to the castle and up to the highest point in the town (well kind of) and then back for a swim (yes a swim) then out again. In short: - A game of chess - A stein in nine - Underberg (don't buy drinks that come in brown paper bags) - A converse with the locals And finally... A Shauny G disastrous stitch up. A spicy burning hot glass of red stuff (god knows the ingredients!) ended with a Stevie B escort home, a projectile red vomit in the posh packing abode and crashing out. I awoke to the smell of stale dry roasted nuts (world class!) and reflected quietly on the tour.... What I have learned is this. Every time I make that fateful drive to Ilford in June blissfully unaware of our destinations or activities I never think the past years can be topped.... And then Jimbo goes and does it again. This year surpassed all expectations and was full of more surprises than perhaps all other tours put together. That my comrades is what I learnt... Well that and don't eat the Heidelberg nuts. Great tour gents... Here's to making that drive to East London in June 2014. Shauny G. Ps. Who's gonna win man of the tour?!!!! Shauny G's sure thing can't even decide!!!!

1. BEST DRINK

Jimbo – The little brown beers in the birthday pub in Dusseldorf – slipped down a treat (as long as you drunk them in 15 secs unless they were too warm!)

Shauny – Underberg. Anything served in brown paper bags that the locals turn their nose up at is good for me.

Johnny – Heidelberger – crisp and refreshing like the city

Steve – The Keg beers in Heidelberg! While arguably not the best beer, the pouring it ourselves was cool

RP – The little red fire cracker that made shauny bleed from his eyes

2. BEST MOMENT OF THE TOUR

Jimbo – If this was SAGA TOURS it would be the magical view from the castle in Heidelberg – but it’s not – its JIMBO TOURS – so, it has to be walking round Heidelberg spreading the good news about London 2012 (thanks to RP for getting ADIDAS involved!)

Shauny – Olympic Legacy Team. Shauny G holding court and delivering 24 carat bullshit to the unsuspecting Germans! "That's a fucking cool job man!" God bless you Seb.

Johnny – Finger spoof with the German football team

Steve – the 5 of us trying to convince the students of Heidelberg that we were from the Olympics

RP – I’m with Johnny on this one

3. WORST MOMENT OF THE TOUR

Jimbo – Duisburg – enough said (for a moment I nearly hung up my tour guide book and love of all things German)

Shauny – as bad as Duisburg was... It has to be setting my face on fire with the German red devil juice. It was god awful and put me out of action.

Johnny – Half hour walk in p!ssing rain from Dusseldorf Station but made all ok when we found out about Duisburg

Steve – Duisburg!!! James, that one is all on you!

RP – Seeing “all” of Johnny

4. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU BROUGHT WITH YOU?

Jimbo – Ability to read train station signs!

Shauny - A to Z of Duisburg.

Johnny – Change of jeans – it wasn’t the warmest tour so the one pair I had got a lot of use

Steve – My Swimming Shorts!

RP – A finger spoof shot glass (other merchandise is available)

5. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU LEFT BEHIND?

Jimbo – 2 jumpers and a pair of jeans (never packing pissed again)

Shauny - shoes. Trainers only from now on.

Johnny – 2nd book – no reading on the fun filled short tour

Steve – Nothing! I think I’ve this JT packing sorted!

RP – My bag (no need, no need)

6. FAVOURITE BOOZER

Jimbo – Gotta be the birthday pub in Dusseldorf – although there were some stonkers in Heidelberg.

Shauny – Busiest pub in Heidelberg. Gullible finger spoof loving locals make it

Shauny G's kind of establishment.

Johnny – Party bar in Heidelberg (Destille)

Steve - Have to go with the “Birthday pub”

RP - Party bar

7. BEST FRUIT (RP – I’ll explain!)

Jimbo – The student types in Heidelberg where great but gotta be the window shopping in Amsterdam. (If Fearon had come reckon he’d still be there now filling up his basket with juicy fruits)

Shauny - Got to be the Dutch melons. We all know its the forbidden fruit and that probably makes it more appealing... Unless your Stevie B of course.

Johnny – Heidelberg (Dusseldorf didn’t have a fair trial though to be fair)

Steve – Amsterdam!! No contest!

RP – I like Bananas

8. BEST NIGHT OUT

Jimbo - First night in Heidelberg – it had it all - a beer keg, a table of pig, Blankety Blanka, hauling Steve (12st my arse) over a bridge finished off with the popular German game of “How many people can you cram into a bar”.

Shauny - Heidelberg night 1. It was so good Shauny G turned down a Mc D's!

Johnny – 1st night in Heidelberg. RP got the party started and stopped any fatigue setting in early

Steve – Heidelberg Day 1

RP – 1st Night in Heidelberg, seeing JD set his own bets and delivering

9. QUOTE OF THE TOUR

Jimbo – After an hour of walking around the German Basildon “We are in F**king Dusseldorf aren’t we?!!”

Shauny – LADIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS

Johnny – I haven’t got leprosy (I wasn’t there to witness it but can see it clearly!)

Steve – “We are in fucking Dusseldorf!!!!! Aren’t we?!?!?!”

RP – “Hello Ladies”

10. WIERDEST PERSON WE MET

Jimbo – Australian bird who ran the hostel in Dam – funny eyes – plus she’s still got a fiver from the whip for a towel!

Shauny – Dusseldorf gobshite who had more ex gf's than a Jeremy Kyle cast list.

Johnny – The man shouting at me in the academic pub

Steve – The “ex-girlfriend” guy in the Birthday Bar

RP – That douche that we met in the birthday bar, who desperately wanted an ex girlfriend

11. FUNNIEST MOMENT

Jimbo - Shaun getting T-bagged – was laughing for a week after – brilliant!

Shauny – Stevie B walking in a "straight" line at the end of night 1 in Heidelberg.

Johnny – Jimbo carrying a ’12 stone’ Stevie B across the bridge

Steve – Shaun announcing that “if anyone was going to get T-bagged last night it was me!” a moment before he gets shown his T-bag picture

RP – Shaun tasting Johnny

12. FAVOURITE HOSTEL

Jimbo –“Heidelberg Cement Hoste” (funny name for a hostel but we all know what im talking about). Btw this “hostel” must never been mentioned in front of the other half’s!!

Shauny - Dusseldorf. Was decent hostel that plus I got a topless hug from Johnny... What a pleasure!

Johnny – Novotel in Heidelberg – big sleep!

Steve – Heidelberg Cement!

RP - “Heidelberg Cement Hoste” I could get used to JT

13. BEST FOOD

Jimbo – Plate of pig in Dusseldorf (love the way the waiter looked at us once and ordered for us – love Germany!)

Shauny - swine feast in Dusseldorf... What can I say... Meatiliscious, beers galore and a side of sauerkraut. Right touch.

Johnny – Plate of pig in Dusseldorf – best Jimbo Tour meal ever

Steve – Dusseldorf!

RP – Big Pig. Although the kebab on the walk home that night probably saved me.

**NEW FOR 2013** SUGGEST A MYSTERY GUEST FOR JT8?

Jimbo – A DOT KEILY – He’d Love it!

Shauny - GBudd - need to get deep and emotional one night... "I can't look... It's a car crash!"

Johnny – A Kiely is long overdue a visit but don’t know if he’d get it

Steve – Bruce!

RP – That guy from Amsterdam, we could ask him at the wedding?

BIG QUESTION - MAN OR BODY PART OF THE TOUR

Jimbo – Can’t believe I’m saying this be it has to be Stevie. Apart from putting Shaun to bed at 4am and being up for it all the time he also relinquished his first class seat on the train to sit with the masses in 2nd class, he also………phone rings….. Hello?...Oh Hi Steve…What? You’re not coming to my Stag at the Races?.......After knowing you all these years?......Fine!.............My Man of the tour is John – for T-Bagging Shaun.

Shauny - (Firstly Jimbo... That was world class!) Man of the tour for has to be our European leader. Top tour Jim... From fruity stage antics, to taking every RP game in your stride. You embodied the beliefs and ethics of the Olympic James.

Johnny – Jimbo nailed on. Took the ‘stag’ games in his stride and led from the front again (RP put in a good show but you can’t give it to a JT virgin)

Steve – I have to give it John!! Great T-bagging

RP – Jimbo, putting a body part into another man pales in comparison to carrying

Stevie B over that romantic bridge (soft focus moment)

PICK 1 JT STOP FOR 2013?

Jimbo – Monaco – if Shaun gets treated like a VIP I’d be a Top Boy out there.

Shauny - Kiev (same every year!)


Johnny – Stuttgart – it teased us this year and I reckon it has a lot to offer

Steve – Bucharest

RP – Long Beach (CA)

*************THE BIG ONE****************** OF ALL THE CITIES JT HAS VISITED WHICH ONE WOULD YOU RETURN TO FIRST AND WHY?
CITIES:JT1: Munich; Prague; Krakow. JT2: Bratislava; Vienna; Budapest; Berlin
JT3: Helsinki; Tallinn; Vilnius; Riga JT4: Ljubljana; Zagreb; Split; Ancona; Rome
JT5: Sofia; Varna. JT6: Colonge; Eindhoven
JT 7: Amsterdam, Dusseldorf, Heidelberg.


Jimbo – Munich – we only got up for it when our train was due to leave for Prague!

Shauney – Munich... Even though I've been back since I'd live there given the chance!

John – Munich – great 1st ever city but we were young and naive back then. Much more to see and they could give Dusseldorf a run for their money on the meat front

Steve – Munich! We left so much behind!

RP - Don’t think I can answer this one really, but Munich sounds like fun